A 65-year-old woman had a heart attack and was taken to the hospital.  While on the operating table she had a near-death experience.

Seeing God  she asked, “Is my time up?”

God said, “No, you have another 33 years, 2 months and 8 days to live.” 

Upon recovery, the woman decided to stay in the hospital and have a face-lift, liposuction, and a tummy tuck.  She even had someone come in and change her hair color and brighten her teeth.

Since she had so much more time to live, she figured she might as well make the most of it. 

After her last operation, she was released from the hospital. While crossing the street on her way home, she was killed by a large moving van. 

Arriving in front of God, she demanded, “I thought you said I had another 33 years? Why didn’t you pull me from out of the path of the truck?” 

God replied:  “That was you?!!”