SHARE THE CARE
“It’s a lot easier to concentrate on somebody’s else’s problems and
somebody else’s life than just think about your own problems”
It’s been 40 years since Harriet Fridkin has had full use of her body. Multiple sclerosis slowly has seized her, leaving her unable to move any part of herself except her head. So, five nights a week in her Potomac, Md. home, Fridkin, 75, plays gracious host to her friends. They arrive to visit, always on schedule,
sometimes to give her a therapeutic massage, sometimes to feed her, sometimes to unload about their day and get her time-tested advice for an hour or two.
It has been this way for 21 years.
“I like to talk to people,” said Fridkin, her voice softer than it used to be. “If people have
problems I like to help solve them.”
Her friends, who have called themselves Harriet’s Harem since 1996, have created a support group remarkable in its loyalty and longevity. A calendar goes out once a month, each day is assigned to a friend, and there’s never a day that’s left open.
If her
nose itches, they’ll scratch it. If she’s thirsty, they’ll give her a drink of water. Mostly, they enjoy her company and marvel at her happy outlook on life and unflinching humor.
“I only keep the good friends,” Fridkin said with a big smile. “The other ones, I don’t keep around.”
The harem
started with 12 members, and people have come and gone through the years. Some have died, some have moved away, some have left and rejoined as their schedules allowed. Now there are nine loyalists who cover the month, three of whom turned 75 this year.
“She gives so much more to all of us than I can tell you,” said Judy Feldman, 83, one of the original organizers of Harriet’s Harem. “She gives
us the inspiration to go on, to overcome anything.”
Fridkin, who has three children and six grandchildren, lives in Potomac with her husband of 54 years, Jerry Fridkin. She has a caregiver assists her during the day. But it is difficult for her to leave the house, which is where Harriet’s Harem comes in...READ MORE