A man went fishing. He looked down the river bank and this young man noticed an old man fishing. That old man was having a lot of success. He was pulling in one fish after another.

To the young man’s amazement, he saw the old man taking a broken ruler and measuring each fish. If it was too big, if it didn’t fit the small size of the broken ruler, he would throw the fish back.

The young man thinking that the old man had some secret went to talk to the old man. He said to him, “What secret do you have about the small fish? Are they more tasty or a specialty?"

The old man said, “Oh no, I measure the fish with a broken off ruler because I only want those that will fit in my frying pan.”

A man was walking along. He was a very old man, near 100 years old. He was walking along in the woods one day and he looked down and saw a frog. The frog started talking to him. The frog looked up and said, “Old man, I’m really a beautiful young woman, a princess. If you kiss me on the lips I’ll become a beautiful princess in front of your eyes.”

The old man sat there and pondered for a moment. The frog repeated itself, “Kiss me on the lips and I’ll become a beautiful princess in front of your eyes and I’ll be with you forever.”

The old man bent down, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket. He had the frog in his pocket for hours as he walked along. The frog talking from the pocket said, “You didn’t hear me. I am a beautiful young princess. If you will just kiss me I will become, in front of your eyes, a princess.”

The old man took out the frog, looked at it right in the eyes and said, “At my age, I’d rather have a talking frog.”