For more than twenty-five years, my wife, Gracie, has been an amputee.

Over the years, the subject of “phantom-limb pain” found itself in many conversations. Amputees can often feel the pain of a limb that is not there. Phantom-limb pain is an odd phenomenon—and another astonishing example of the complexity of the human body. In kind of a “reverse phantom-limb pain,” caregivers often feel pain—not over something missing, but rather something that hasn’t even happened.

We feel what we fear, and often don’t see a positive end, but rather see it getting worse. Fretting over “what will happen if …”, adds despair to already weary hearts over something that hasn’t occurred—or may never happen.

Years ago, a surgeon grimly returned to the hospital room where I waited for news from yet another surgery. He shared with me that Gracie contracted an infection in her back that required her to stay three months in the hospital, flat on her back (raising no more than 15 degrees). In addition, she would need an operation every third day to irrigate the infection site. Thinking about Gracie, our young sons, my job, and all the things involved, my heart sank and I mumbled, “I can’t do this for three months...​​​​​​​READ MORE