WELCOME TO HEAVEN

The elderly couple had been married for sixty years. Though they were far from rich, they managed to get by because they watched their pennies. Though advanced in years, they were both in very good health, largely due to the wife's insistence on healthy foods and exercise for the last two decades.

One day, their good health didn't help when they went on vacation and their plane crashed, sending them off to Heaven. They reached the pearly gates and St. Peter escorted them inside. He took them to a beautiful mansion, furnished in gold and fine silks, with a fully stocked kitchen, and a waterfall in the master bath. A maid could be seen hanging their favorite clothes in the closet.

They gasped in astonishment when St. Peter said, "Welcome to Heaven. This will be your home now."

The old man asked Peter how much all this was going to cost. "Why, nothing," St. Peter replied, "remember, this is your reward in Heaven."

The old man looked out the window and right there, he saw a championship golf course, finer and more beautiful than any ever built on Earth. "What are the green fees?",  asked the old man.

"This is Heaven," St. Peter replied. "You can play for free every day."

Next, St. Peter took the couple to the clubhouse and they saw the lavish buffet lunch, with every imaginable cuisine laid out before them, from seafood to steaks, to exotic deserts, free-flowing beverages, and a fountain of champagne. "Don't even ask," said St. Peter. "This is Heaven, it is all free for you to enjoy."

The old man looked around and glanced nervously at his wife. "Well, where are the low fat, low cholesterol foods, and the decaffeinated tea?" he asked.

"That's the best part," St. Peter replied. "You can eat and drink as much as you like of whatever you like, and you will never get fat or sick. This is Heaven."

The old man pushed, "No gym to work out at?"

"Not unless you want to." was the answer.

"No testing my blood sugar or blood pressure or prostate?"

"Never again. All you do here is enjoy yourself."

The old man glared at his wife and said, "You and your darn low-fat foods, exercise, and healthy lifestyle. If not for you, we could have been here twenty years ago!"