It was a love-hate relationship made difficult by the fact that she never loved me. I knew it all along of course. But it didn’t stop me from loving my stepmother. God said to find it in your heart to love all His children, and I take that commandment very seriously.
When my Dad first introduced me to Arlene I could see right away she was a very needy soul. She clung to my Father like a child to her daddy. She didn’t act like a grown woman in the usual ways. She was helpless, but that was OK because me and my Dad both like to be helpful. We like feeling needed.
Arlene has a highly developed skill; she can be exceedingly charming. She can turn it on and off at will. And when good Arlene is on, you love it. She makes you feel special and she is so much fun to be with.
Occasionally I was on the receiving end of Arlene’s affection so I could see the attraction from my Dad’s point of view. While others complained about her unreliability, her moodiness, her demanding nature – me and my Dad were able to excuse her for it. Arlene was like a drug, the highs you got from her attention seemed worth the lows you felt when she ignored you.
As alike as me and my Dad are in many ways, the root of our loving inclinations to Arlene were completely opposite. I came to love Arlene wholly from the Godly perspective I mentioned earlier. My Dad fell in love with only one part of her – the good Arlene who made him feel good…at first. But a love like that is hard to keep up with.
So after ten long years of marriage my father had no love left for Arlene. She emptied his heart with unrelenting verbal abuse and rejection. Her neediness was no longer endearing. Her charm didn’t work on him anymore. He was wounded and raw.
A good therapist helped him regain his self esteem and he knew he had to end the relationship. But Arlene wasn’t giving up without a fight.
Being married suited her just fine – with or without her husband’s love. She liked spending money but she didn’t like working for it. She liked watching TV all day in her bedroom but wasn’t particularly fond of the other activities husband and wife commonly did in the bedroom. She liked the respect she got from having a “Mrs.” In front of her name because she had little self-respect on her own...READ MORE
