MARIAN MAYER TELLS A STORY
When you’re old, a person can start to feel a little depressed. Sad and lonely. Not me. I am happy to be old, I never thought I’d live to ninety. But I am. I did. And I’m damn glad about it.
Pardon my language. I lost my filter a while back and I am not inclined to find it. I say what’s on my mind, “politically” correct or not. Some say it’s cute, my daughter Julie shushes me and looks embarrassed.
Just the other day me and Julie were in the Pancake House. We split the apple pancake. It’s an elaborate baked concoction with more brown sugar than apples, baked in a frying pan and served that way. I love it.
The Pancake House is a people watching paradise. It’s an endless show of ordinary people from all walks of life, people of all ages, people short and tall. Julie hates it when I say this but it’s the truth; fat people are drawn to the Pancake House like flies to shit.
The conversation between me and Julie last Tuesday went like this:
Me: Did you see that woman? She’s enormous!
Julie: Shush Mom, she can hear you.
Me: I’m only talking to you, what’s it her business if I’m talking to you?
Can you see my point? You can’t have an honest private conversation anymore without watching your words. I swear, people are overly sensitive.
I decided not to worry about what comes out of my mouth. It’s enough to have to worry about what comes out my other end. Every G-damn day I have to worry about diarrhea, and peeing through this pull-up, even though I wear a pad with it.
I do worry about my three sons, Charlie, Lee and Alan. I don’t worry about Julie, she’s got her act together. I worry about two of my eleven grandchildren and five greats. The one I most worry about is the newest baby. She was born with a heart condition and the doctors can’t fix it until she’s a little older. I just adore that precious Cecilia, we call her CeCe.
There’s an election coming up and it’s is worrying me too. The country is headed in the wrong direction and I just may have to hop on my horse and ride over the border to Canada if things don’t change.
Kidding aside, I speak the truth and people listen...READ MORE
