I had an interesting experience a number of years ago. I did a show for an hour special for PBS on what I call moral imagination, in which I tried to share a whole bunch of different lessons that people could incorporate into their daily lives.

At one point, I said to the one who was producing it, "If everything else I said was forgotten except for this lesson, it would have been it would be sufficient."

The Lesson
Parents should reserve the highest praise for their children when they do kind acts.

Children generally get their highest praise for one of four things: 1. Academic achievements 2. Athletic abilities 3. Cultural achievements, music, art, etc. 4. Their looks (especially a girl)

We all know that children need all the compliments and support they can get, but underlying this is also the feeling that parental love is somewhat dependent on a child's accomplishments.

Wouldn't it be better if we reserve the highest praise of children for when they do kind acts? We'd raise a generation of people who most loved themselves when they were doing kind things; it would be transformational.

In the absence of that, we end up in a society where a parent says, "Oh, my so-and-so is a good kid."

It's almost made to sound like it's insignificant, not important. But it is the most important thing.

If I could change one thing in American life, it would be for parents to raise a generation of people who are praised and receive their highest praise when they do kind acts.

People would love themselves most and feel best about themselves when they were doing kind deeds.

What a world to imagine! And it can all start with you.

Joseph Telushkin, spiritual leader, scholar, writer, ethicist