GOOD ADVICE

by Melissa Kirsch 
 

I try to follow the maxim “all unsolicited advice is self-serving” and ask before I offer my opinion on what I think someone else should do. I think we all love receiving well-meaning guidance; we just bristle when it arrives unbidden, when it lands as thinly disguised criticism.

The best advice I received this year was from my friend Lori, who, when I was expressing anxiety about some far-off worry, advised, “Move the horizon closer.” Another bit that I’ve returned to: “What if it all works out?” Taken together, the instruction seems to be: Keep your gaze in the present, and if you must consider the future, choose the best-case scenario to ponder. It’s just as likely to transpire as the worst-case one, after all.

• Nothing changes if nothing changes. — Kristine Tobin Balasz, Charlevoix, Mich.
• If it’s meant to serve you, and it doesn’t (and it’s affordable), replace it. Daily things like your bag, your water bottle, your socks. Find ones you actually like using. — Alissa Gulin, Laurel, Md.
• Before your kids go to college, find something you are passionate about other than work. — Sandra Beaulieu, Bellevue, Wash.
• You don’t need to tell everyone everything that goes into making the chicken soup. — Hannah Schoff, New York City
• Your parents are also doing things for the first time. Cut them some slack. — Katie Claytor, Richmond, Va.
• Don’t think harder, breathe deeper. Most of us are surviving on shallow sips of air. — Carly Sotas, Los Angeles
• Never second-guess going to a funeral. — Kathy Nechanicky, Lakeville, Minn.
• We tend to forget that baby steps still move us forward. — Becki Moss, Sarasota, Fla.
• Good conversations have lots of doorknobs. — Samantha Good, Portland, Ore.
• It’ll be fine or it’ll be over. — Nathalie Cunningham, Tacoma, Wash.
• Do dishes when the baby does dishes. — Lisa Francomacaro, White River Junction, Vt.
• Ask yourself: What if there was no problem to solve right now? — Brianán Kiernan, San Francisco
• Write what’s bothering you down on a piece of paper; put it in a little box. A year later, read what’s in there and see if you don’t start laughing. — Diane Huebner, Merced, Calif.
• “Wear the ring.” — A jeweler who cleaned a family heirloom I’d kept in a box for 50 years for fear of losing it. — Arline Sirkus, New York City
• Best advice for decluttering: If you didn’t own it, would you buy it again? — Margaret Roberts, Kodiak, Alaska
• Stop trying to calm the storm. Calm yourself, the storm will pass. — Lyn Banghart, Easton, Md.
• Go outside first thing in the morning before you do anything else. — Carrie Swift Heck, Lee, Mass...READ MORE

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