LADDER RUNGS

That small ask—becoming a sturdy little rhythm in my prayer life

By Hannah Brencher

If I close my eyes, I can still plant myself at the beginning of the 2020 pandemic. The world was shutting down all around us. No one had any idea what was happening. We were trying to figure out how to wash boxes of cereal we bought at the grocery store. The streets were full of people suddenly taking up the hobby of afternoon walking. We were all being diligent– two weeks to flatten the curve.

I was nine months pregnant. New York had just removed partners from the delivery room. We didn't know if Lane would be with me while giving birth to our daughter. I remember staying up late– 1am, 2am– scrolling and scrolling and scrolling. I think that's where my need for unplugging truly manifested.

I was addicted to the 24/7 news coverage, and it was leaving me in an anxious spiral. I think I, like many people, thought if I could just consume more news stories, maybe somewhere in the midst of the consumption, there'd be a solution. There'd be a golden ticket that would get us all out of this mess. 

Those four weeks before our daughter's birth were spent in isolation. We were a diligent team: my husband, mom, our puppy Tuesday, and Chuck Bass.

In terms of faith, I felt helpless to fight forward. I felt lost and confused. But I remember falling into this sweet rhythm with God I'd never experienced...read more