During my physical, my doctor asked me about my daily activity level, and so I described a typical day this way: 

“Well, yesterday afternoon, I waded along the edge of a lake, drank eight cokes, escaped from wild dogs in the heavy brush, marched up and down several rocky hills, stood in a patch of poison ivy, crawled out of quicksand, jumped away from an aggressive rattlesnake.” 

Inspired by the story, the doctor said, “You must be one heck of an outdoorsman!”

“No,” I replied, “I’m just a very bad golfer.”