REFLECTIONS: I WILL BE WITH YOU
I would love that from God. I would love to approach a new season that feels hard and challenging and be able to hear God say, crystal-clear: you are intelligent and brave and ready for this. You've got this in your own strength but tap me in if you need
me.
By Hannah Brenchner
We are in the process of weaning Novi off a medicine she has been on for nausea over the last eight
months, ever since we walked out the doors of the Children's Hospital of Atlanta. With the weaning comes a spike in my anxiety.
We've had a few instances where she has gotten sick in the car over the last month, and it's hard not to let my head escape back to a place of panic. We've experienced
so much peace during the previous eight months as a family— she's gained weight and is thriving, and we've been able to rest a little easier knowing she doesn't feel nauseous all the time. A lot of people ask whether we have a diagnosis or not. For right, we still don't.
We've implemented many
helpful strategies to keep her healthy along the way. We're thankful for good doctors and good prayers surrounding us in this season and beyond.
After a bout of carsickness yesterday, my stomach was in knots. We were out on a breakfast date together, and I had a hard time being present in the
moment. I tried, though. I watched Novi color and laugh— spirits not sunken by a bit of sickness— and savor her bacon and chocolate chip pancake.
I texted my friends and asked them to pray. I listened to my body and took a nap after breakfast. And then, as I woke up, I decided to reset my mind for
the day.
I decluttered spaces and created outer order because I believe it helps foster inner peace.
And then I had a moment— a sort-of holy moment— as I sorted through Novi's tiny kitchen in the corner of the living room.
I remembered Moses and one of his first conversations with God.
God is commissioning Moses to lead the Israelites out of slavery, out of Egypt. And Moses, the most unlikely, cannot fathom why God would think to use him.
Moses has all kinds of
rebuttals and excuses for God. I get where he is coming from. I think a part of Moses wants God to qualify him and tell him he is good enough for this role. He wants his ego stroked a bit.
Who doesn't?
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